I really thought the ME had zapped the migraines. In the last six years, the time I have had ME, I certainly have not been plagued by them until recently. In the last few weeks I have had five, three of them bad enough to want to bang my head against a wall.
It has occurred to me that I have been doing a lot more, mostly in terms of writing and preparing for the book signing event that is looming. If I examine how I feel, I have to admit that committing to a blog a day and a poem a day, (for NaPoWriMo), has added what might loosely be called ‘pressure’ to achieve a goal. I have missed a couple of days, and this makes me feel bad.
The ME too has stepped up again. I don’t have the energy I had last Autumn. I am nothing like as bad as, say two years ago, but I wonder if my goals need adjusting slightly.
This is something I have a problem with, and no amount of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – the only recommended treatment for ME by the NHS) has been able to convince me that it is OK to set a goal, and then, when achieving it seems too difficult, amend the goal to ensure success!
I wonder if this intractability is, in part, why I succumbed to ME, and possibly migraine headaches in the first place. I am too stubborn for my own good. It would be interesting to know whether other ME patients have the same or similar behaviour traits…
In the meantime, I will blog every day that I am able and still attempt a poem every day until the end of April. The question remains, should I remove the ‘Post a Day’ badge from my site?
I think not.
My NaPoWriMo effort for today is Love, eternal. Follow the link to read it –