What’s ten more days –
Six months have already passed.
Just ten more spells
for ten more days,
ten more bargains to be struck,
ten more nights to lie awake.
What’s ten more days
With six long months already passed?
I like the repetitive pattern of a triolet and have used it here, but the form does not follow the iambic pattern, nor is the rhyme scheme accurate.
This was written for the One Stop Poetry ‘One Shot Wednesday’ in response to the news that D’s return from ‘the front’ has been delayed for ten days.
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i hope something good awaits you ten more days…dont they seem so long though….
thank you Brian – it is that peculiar aspect of time – days can last minutes or months
Crisp and effective. You’ve managed to get some of the feel of a triolet, even while using a very modern free verse approach. Waiting is hard, whether ten days or ten years, if what you’re waiting for is important.
Thank you for the positive comments hedgewitch and wkkortas. I do worry when I adapt a form that it will be poorly viewed by those who know more than I do. it is encouraging that you found this poem pleasing.
It may not be strictly a triolet in terms of the form or meter, but it combines form and flow nicely. A very nice piece of writing.
Ten. Ten. Ten. Life is always curious when it begins to revolve around a number…lends new meanings to certain things. Efficient piece, and it certainly captures the anxiousness that comes with waiting…I wish you all the best, and that he comes home soon – apox on delays!
Thank you for reading and commenting Chris… so right about numbers. They can dominate. The odd thing is that today it is still ten extra days. It’ll be better when I can count down the last ten!
Ten more days.. and the waiting is over… for something beautiful and lovely… Lovely.
Thanks for sharing.
ॐ शांति ॐ
Om Shanti Om
May peace be… pray for People of Japan
________
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-love-and-insignificance.html
Connect me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Focused, inherently fiery – desperate, emotional? – work. Anyhoot, that’s how I read it, LOL.
Good work!
All of those things and a bit angry too! Thank you for reading and commenting