Following some really helpful comments on this poem when I posted it for One Shot Wednesday, I have slightly revised it. I would love to hear whether I have improved it, made it worse or just not made any discernible difference at all!
Low clouds meld
With stricken meadow,
Silver birch, tarnished streaks
In blasted landscape. Field levelled
By frost – thick as snow.
Single tracks criss-cross
Into tangled thicket. Bramble coils –
Threaded, razored blockade beneath
Willow whips, birch withies
Flex in windswept time with
Follow that single track upwind.
Stand sentinel by thorny barricade.
Wad of desiccated leaves,
Fawn and lifeless – trace it with your eye.
Move just your eye. Follow
Gentle curve to cream oval tuft –
back again. Look beyond
Skeins of khaki stalks.
Sketch dark, damp stone.
See it twitch? Be still, be silent –
She knows you’re here.
Watch her ears,
Furred sienna trumpets, raise,
Twist to trap the scratch
Of your breath. You will
Not keep her. Be ready. The doe will
Rise and run in one smooth
Fluid move, breach the bramble barrier,
Duck under scrabbling branches,
Leap and zig and bound
And zag and rise over
Hedge, ditch, fence – alluring,
With single bark, hoarse echoing warning,
She’ll blend her winter, biscuit- beige body
Tidily, quietly with