Letting go for dVerse Poets


Gormley Another PLaceAt last I have a moment to respond to the dVerse prompt once more.

Letting go for me is tough the battle with my tendency to be in control has left its mark on my health. As Claudia says in her introduction, taking on a task means that it must be seen through to completion…but sometimes self preservation has to kick in and say
‘good enough is good enough’. It has taken me a long time to actually put this into practice and even now, after 8 years battling with my health, I find it so very hard to do.

Being a completionist as well as an idealist led to overwork and under-play ( if there is such a thing!) and I eventually succumbed to ME ( often better known as CFS). This spelled the end of my career and a long time of heart searching about what it had all been for in the first place. It was a while before I found the silver lining, which was the time to develop as a poet and writer. Hopefully I have learned my lesson…

The following poem sums up the misery of waste and expresses some of my anger and frustration…it was written 7 years ago and I have moved on since, but after the mining memory exercise earlier this week on dVerse I came upon it and now it seems to tie in to today’s prompt.

Invasion

You miserable worm, you wriggled in,
shrouded, cloaked by a simple virus.
A sly, insatiable, masked assassin,
writhing, twisting, feeding with a callous
indifference, violating my words, thoughts,
energy, intellect, desires. You make me
a ramshackle woman, distraught,
grieving for a self too lost to retrieve.

But you, worm, beware. I have your measure.
For each joy you consume, each hurt you heap
I’ll fill the void with calm, find new life, new pleasure
I’ll learn to write, listen paint, sing. Somehow,
Somehow worm, I’ll win. This rape stops now.

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About SallyJ

I am a writer and a poet.
This entry was posted in CFS, Dversepoetry, M.E., ME, CFS, online writing, poet, poetic forms, poetry, poets, Uncategorized, word painting, writer, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Letting go for dVerse Poets

  1. claudia says:

    filling voids with calm is a good thing…turning away and moving on, learning and discovering new things…yeah…def. a good thing to do..

  2. Sabio Lantz says:

    Jeez! That was powerful. Working with many CFS patients (not to treat their syndrome but to care for other health needs), I have heard many of these stories. They are devastating. And yet, I have heard of heros like you — who becomes artists in spite of the damn worm! Well done, well said.

    • SallyJ says:

      The worst stories for me belong to the very young people who barely even get their lives started before this ‘worm’ sneaks in and robs them…thank you for reading and commenting and keep up the good work.

  3. Mary says:

    I like the way you have indicated, in your poem, that the ‘rape’ will stop now. You show your strength and determination; and in reading that this poem was written some years ago, I would say that you have succeeded. You have ‘let go’ and move on in a different direction and succeeded!

  4. SallyJ says:

    Thank you Mary – you are right – I have moved on to do things I could never have fitted in before – I am lucky but constantly vigilant. Thanks for reading and commenting

  5. We’ve talked of this before, Sally, CFS is not so very different from Fibromyalgia, both awful silent and unseen conditions. Your poem is powerful and thought-provoking ~ it gives an interesting slant on the prompt ~ I especially like ‘I have your measure’, that sense of taking back control.

  6. brian miller says:

    ha. love it…i love the attitude and not letting the worm have the day but taking it to them…smiles…your words have power…and hopefully they not only empower you but all who read this….

  7. Kelvin S.M. says:

    …a rather brave poem that stands a point… a voice that reaches out to be heard… louder and louder until it hits the ears of those who care… strong pleas in a rather camouflaging tone & cover… excellent write… smiles…

  8. SallyJ says:

    Thank you Brian – let’s hope so. Being bloody minded is half the battle!

  9. I know the frustration of chronic health problems. Even at 26, I have had so many medical issues, its uncanny. Sometimes it’s hard not to be angry with the world at times. You’ve captured this well.

  10. lucychili says:

    ah what a journey. rock on =).

  11. SallyJ says:

    I’ll do my best 🙂
    Thanks for commenting.

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