The Sea – a villanelle – the first I wrote


I was looking back at some of my earlier poems, and decided the time has come to rewrite, edit and improve. The was the first villanelle I ever wrote so I have a fondness for it, despite some clunky lines.

I have italicised/coloured the ones I think I should attack first. Any comments to help me along…?

 

Ceaseless, surging, the ebb and the flow
Of icy water that assaults the sand
Salty, tangy, lip-licking glow

Of face and finger, nose and toe
Seaweed, old plastic, string, float in a band
Ceaseless, surging, the ebb and the flow

Seagulls that skirmish, they swoop to and fro
Skimming the wave tops, dive bombing the strand
Salty, tangy, lip-licking glow

On the knuckles of bait diggers hunkering low
Filling old rusty buckets with shovel and hand
Ceaseless, surging, the ebb and the flow.

 

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About SallyJ

I am a writer and a poet.
This entry was posted in editing, poet, poetry, sea, Uncategorized, writer, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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